Coronavirus worries? 5 Tips to Create and Maintain a Healthy Mindset!

“I can’t sleep at night,” Maria* tells me. “I am literally laying awake in my bed at night worrying about this coronavirus.”

“Why?” I ask. Maria is a newer client, so we are just getting to know each other.

“My brain won’t turn off,” she explains. “I keep thinking about my kids, wondering about Jon’s asthma. I feel like my mind is stuck. I’m stressed out about getting extra medical supplies, trying to make sure I will have everything he needs if the pharmacies run out ...or, worse, what I will do if he gets the virus.”

“What’s your main concern?”

“That I’m going to mess up. That I’m unprepared. What if this gets bad and something happens to one of them, or to me?  What if I haven’t done enough? What if one of us… (Maria lowers her voice nearly to a whisper)... dies?” Her eyes fill with tears.

“From everything I’ve read and heard, the virus does not seem to be affecting children that much,” I remind Maria. “Odds are good that your kids are going to be okay, even if they do get the virus. It seems to be impacting elderly people a lot more.”

“I know,” she nods, “But I’m still completely stressed out.”

“Let’s look at it a little more deeply. When you find yourself thinking that you or one of your kids might die from the COVID-19, what emotion do you feel?” 

“Devastated,” she admits.  “I feel helpless and sad.”

“Which one of those feelings is strongest?  Devastation, helplessness or sorrow?”

“I guess it’s helpless,” Maria says. “Helpless because this thing is out there and I can’t control it. I can’t stop it from coming to my city or my kids’ school or my house. I can’t stop it from affecting my family.”

Maria is not alone right now.  People all over the United States, and all over the world, are experiencing a similar sense of anxiety, stress and fear related to the spread of the Wuhan coronavirus.

When you turn on the news, it’s one of the top stories on radio stations and television. At dinners, parties or BBQs with friends, coronavirus is now a leading topic of discussion. Coronavirus anxiety is growing and spreading, just like the virus itself.  Maybe faster!

This kind of anxiety isn’t productive though, and it doesn’t actually help Maria or her son Jon to survive, let alone thrive, during a possible pandemic. 

Maria is ruminating, which is a way of describing the process of continuously thinking the same negative thoughts, over and over.  

Ruminating isn’t good for mental health.  It has been shown to prolong periods of depression and make it difficult for humans to think clearly and process information.  It can also make a person feel intensely alone and isolated. 

In a situation such as an international health crisis, worrying and ruminating are unlikely to help Maria to make decisions for herself and for her family from a calm and thoughtful place.  

“What would you like to be feeling right now?” I ask Maria.

“I’d love to feel prepared,” she sighed.  “Like, whatever happens, I’ve done my best.  I’d like to think, “I’ve got this.”

“Great,” I smile.  “If you really KNEW that you were as prepared as possible, what would you do?”

“I guess I would relax a little,” she says.  “I would spend time with Jon and my other kids, and really focus on enjoying my time with them. I would focus on just being a good mom.”

“I have great news,” I smile. “All of that is actually available to you… right now!” 

As we continue with our session I will help Maria delve more deeply into how her thoughts and feelings produce the actions that she takes and the results that she sees in her life.

I will show her how adapting her thinking and her focus can create relaxation and improved focus right in this exact moment.

I am also happy to share tools and strategies with Maria that can help her to turn down the volume of her anxiety so that she can actually enjoy her day and her relationships.

Here are some of the additional strategies I would share with Maria to help her decompress:

Make a plan. 

Instead of fixating on the problem, Maria and I can work together to develop a concrete plan that addresses the concerns that are keeping her up at night.  We can calendar the times when she will call the doctor for new prescriptions, drive to the pharmacy and pick up any supplies that little Jon may need.

Take action.

Maria can tackle every obstacle in her path as though it was an item on her “to do” list.  For example, “The doctor’s office never calls me back,” can become “I will call the doctor’s office on my morning break at 10:15 and leave a message.  If they do not call me back I will physically drive to the office on my lunch break and speak to them in person, to see about getting our prescriptions.”

Poke holes in automatic thought patterns.

Maria’s brain is convinced that scary thoughts like, “Jon may die from the coronavirus” may be a fact. Maria can poke holes in this kind of thinking by reminding herself that her son Jon is much more likely to stay healthy and survive it. As a child, his risk of having a severe case of COVID-19 is very low.  Maria can question her own anxious thoughts by asking herself, “Is that really true?” when she thinks about a possibility that is dark, scary or sad.

Meditate.

Meditating can be enormously helpful when it comes to ruminating.  When people find their minds overwhelmed with anxious thoughts that seem to repeat on a loop it’s useful to carve out 15 minutes to sit alone in a quiet space.  Focus only on breathing, in and out, and allow the brain to witness its thoughts without becoming emotionally involved with them. If Maria has trouble meditating, she can try using one of the many meditation apps on the market such as “Calm”.  

Exercise.

When humans exercise, chemicals in the brain called endorphins are produced.  Endorphins are not only natural painkillers but they also help people like Maria to sleep at night, which will also reduce her physical and mental stress.  Even just 5-10 minutes of doing any kind of aerobic activity has the capacity to reduce her level of anxiety. 

These techniques will help Maria to break her thought loops, and they can help you too!

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As a life coach, I wear a lot of hats. Part of my job is helping my clients to achieve their goals… so if your biggest goal right now is to buy water and face masks, I can help you get organized and follow through on your desire to do that.  We can make a plan, and I will provide accountability and support.

However an even bigger part of what I do is clients look at their conscious and subconscious mindsets in order to figure out if their current way of looking at the world is constructive. 

Is your current thinking about COVID-19 helping you? Is it motivating you and making you feel calm and ready? Or is it making your day-to-day life harder, more uncomfortable or more painful?

Is there another way of looking at coronavirus that would be easier, gentler, more inspiring and more peaceful?  Is there a point of view that will help you move through your day and get things done without feeling devastated and exhausted? 

If you or someone you love has been feeling overwhelmed by feelings of panic and fear over the recent worldwide spread of the coronavirus, coaching can help in a variety of ways.  A good coach can teach you how to implement strategies in your own life that will create true mental and emotional health!

* * * * *

I coach by invitation or referral only. If you or someone you love are struggling with anxiety or stress over the COVID-19 outbreak, you may contact me to describe your situation and request an invitation.

Contact me at: hello@thinktothrivecoaching.com or click here.

*Name and identifying information has been altered to protect client anonymity. “Maria” is also a composite of multiple clients.